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If it was your decision to break up, you will probably be attacked by feelings of doubt and maybe cruelty against your ex, (especially if you still have feelings for her), or, if you are the victim, you may feel you have been wronged and feel the universe has ended. The reality however, given that there is no going back, is that you must learn how deal with it. Playing the blame game You will almost certainly feel the need to dissect the past, to try and understand what went wrong, why it went wrong and whose fault it was. The sad truth is that it doesn’t really matter from the point of view that what is done, is done. There is seldom chance to go back and change things. However, a postmortem does have some benefits. It affords you the opportunity of discovering exactly what did go wrong, and, if the blame lies with you, and in truth some of it must, it gives you the ability to recognize any faults in your own make-up, and how to change and deal with them going forward, so that you don’t carry the same mistakes, or ignore the same warning signs, in your next relationship. Get Over it There must of course be a period of reflection. This gives you the opportunity to understand, and to get to know yourself more completely. However, don’t drag it out, the sooner you can get over it, the better. Sadly there is nothing less alluring than a friend who is wallowing in self pity and doubt. Try to avoid falling into the trap of dwelling on the good things about the relationship, romanticizing them. This only seeks to obscure the real reasons behind the break-up and will delay the “healing” process. Physician- Heal Thyself Only one person can make it right again…..YOU. You are the one who has to live with yourself, and you are the one who will form a new relationship when the time is right. You are the only one who knows why you did what you did, or why or how you contributed to the break-up, so it stands to reason only you can understand and learn. A Friend in need is a friend indeed Remember, you still have your friends. A trouble shared is a trouble halved. It is always good to talk things over with friends, to get an outside perspective on things and to share experiences. Just don’t overdo it. Don’t become the sad little man who could talk of nothing else. Use friendships wisely. Be a busy bee The truth of the matter is that is only natural to dwell on things. But in order to avoid becoming unhappy and morose, keep busy. Try and find things to do that will take you mind off your worries, if only for a while. Diversion helps. Keeping a stiff upper lip It is really important to keep your dignity, your self esteem. It is all too easy, (especially if your ex has cheated on you), to lose you self-confidence. Be positive. Know that there is nothing wrong with you, that you are still the same person she fell for and that it is her who wanted to try the greener grass. It’s he loss. Avoid the rebound It’s very natural to want to hurt your ex, or to simply to seek company and companionship elsewhere. Stop and think. Firstly you won’t be hurting your ex if is she has already decided to end things. It will simply toughen her resolve. Secondly, you are vulnerable, and it is all too easy to start a new relationship for the wrong reasons, a relationship that is ultimately doomed to failure when you recover your composure and find out that you have nothing in common other than a shoulder to cry on. This will lead to hurt to yourself, or to your new partner, when the relationship breaks-up. The very thing you were trying to get over initially. Put on a brave new face Breaking-up is tough. The aftermath is tougher still. The doubts, the recriminations, the anger. But, remember, time heals all wounds, so, go out, get busy, indulge your self in your hobbies, reacquaint yourself with your friends, There's a whole wide world out there waiting for you, and Ms right may be just around the corner.
Article Source: http://www.lovedatingguide.com
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